26 June 2008

"Human Nature"

Been a while since I last posted something, or not. Just didn't really like the idea of posting something crappy that I wouldn't bother reading myself. Oh yes, I just felt really lazy too. Anyway, stumbled upon this article thingy on the Net recently and felt it was so true and helpful. To make it short, it basically explained how nice guys finished last and why women usually go after cocky guys who treat them like nothing special rather than princesses.

This is soooooooo true I tell you! Well, from personal experience that is. You're absolutely entitled to read through it and perceive it yourself. Link's at the end of the post if it's going to be a long one. As I was saying, comparing what I read and what I've seen, it perfectly explains how guys always lose out when they do everything good there is to do. Funny though if you want to pull it to an extreme. Don't return their calls and you make them want to call you more. Don't tell them they look pretty and beautiful and they'll think you're hot and sexy. Don't shower them with gifts and they'd want to shower with you. Scrap that last bit.

But yes, I quite agree with the logical sense in it. To quote from the article, nice guys are boring and predictable while cocky guys are perceived as more confident and stronger, basically sort of more desirable values. People often look for something exciting and adventurous when getting into a relationship. You're not looking for someone who's going to say the predictable 3 words to you a hundred times in one night or tell you how nice you look in that dress and be willing to do just anything for you. Girls always prefer to have someone like that as a friend maybe because when they say no to him they can still expect them so linger around and offer them a cheering up or 2 when they don't feel great on any day. Once they do, they move on to look for a cocky guy who will.... well, you get the picture.

Totally understood as well if you have someone who's not as easily 'accessible' relationship wise because human nature states that we usually want something we can't have, someone who isn't EASY. It poses greater satisfaction and pleasure going through a phase like that and I mean that in a non-sexual way. To quote once more, "someone who she perceives to be more worthy" which would mean someone who should instead deserve your attention rather than seem all desperado over for you. OR IS IT???

I mean, yeah, there needs to always be a balance. Those who I usually argue with would know how I value balance over others. Nothing is perfect if one sided, especially when it comes to a relationship. I realize after all that though that article may be quite true, it's just crap. What I mean is that, life and human nature is crap. This isn't just some emotion fueled due to past rejections in my life (heh heh) or maybe it is but it makes sense as well.

Firstly, I've known some guys who are like that (cocky) and even girls who prefer them since all they seem to can see is 'excitement', 'confidence' and maybe 'fun', they don't know how they get treated like crap or dirt. They even go to such an extent that they don't care if he cheated on them and such but rather give him chance after chance while clinging on as if their dear life depended on getting the guy. Just coz he's great with words and he knows how to act in front of you, he shouldn't be the one you want to be with more. In fact, the exact scenario a lot of girls go through, when they're afraid to tell a guy how THEY feel and instead wait, should be taken into picture as well. Not many girls know what it means for a guy to pour and admit his feelings to ONE girl and risk almost everything. It's sure as hell more bold than that of someone who builds a layer of egoistic persona and lives behind it. But HEY, if you're not that fond of loyalty, by all means, go the other direction, if you know what really lies there. What you don't know, don't mean it don't exist. The key word used most often used after all was "perceived".

The world used to be simple as well. It was never one as complicated as this nice vs cocky man situation. Oh yeah, and when the heck did getting into a relationship was all about excitement and being all unpredictable??? That's what you call an ADVENTURE! Hellooooo?? If all you wanted was to have fun with the guy and have a good time by all means but don't you dare tell me that was in fact a relationship. If being predictable is all that bad as well, go ahead and live 'loving' him without getting to know him well enough to know his next move, how he feels about you and so on. The only thing that should remain unpredictable should be his romance, which you would know all about if you gave him, the nice guy, a chance.

Seriously too, if you really don't want someone who would care for you day and night whenever and instead go after another who couldn't care less if you just did your hair or you wore a new dress. I'm not denying that all this perception thing that was spoken about is true because I did after all agree with it. I just think its plain stupid because I've seen more than often girls that deserve someone better instead go after thrashy guys who couldn't relationship wise care about them but could hold an act in front of them only to be heartbroken in the end. Then I thought, hey, just like how a religious calling will come in the face of death, they'd realize how meaningful nice guys are when they have broken hearts but I guess not. All I really quite belief right now is yes, that's our nature now.

Maybe they were desperate because they realized what a special person you were. Maybe they would go to great lengths for you because you mean the world to them. Maybe, just maybe, they say they love you not only because they really do, but because they know the other guy won't. Its possibly the type of human nature like this that have developed is a main cause for the increasing divorce rates in our lives. Various studies will cite all sorts of different causes for that but to just be simple, maybe its because many people just don't know what they want in life and love. When there is a failure to know, you should know you're going to fail, in this case, in that relationship.

To make things clear, a relationship isn't something to have fun with and have a great time or an experiential activity for you before marriage or something. It isn't something emotionally meaningless and empty. If you can't see that and realize what a true relationship requires, you'll go after that cocky guy and feel contempt but not happy. At least that's what I think. Many say love is overrated, it's not that special, and that the word or feeling is used too often without any meaning. I feel its underrated because many can't see how meaningful it can be to your life or you've just been with a guy who would say he loves you and just that when he's cocky and wants to look confident and strong. According to what I read, being nice will make the woman seem too valuable and too important. If people really cared for each other, there's never too valuable or important, its either they are or they're not.

Nevertheless, I mentioned balance. Of course its great to have some excitement or interest in a relationship rather than spending the rest of your life saying "I love you" to each other everyday though it should never be all about that like the article seems to portray. Treat her like she's everything but also not like she's something. Don't go saying you can't live without her as well because you will but remind her how she important she is to you. Usually when they're ready, they'll step up. Unlike what's in that site, and unlike what human nature seem to be turning into, friends aren't there to love you and partners there to have fun with. It's the other way around. =) With balance.

LINK to article